Control the Suffering, Don't let the Suffering Control You

Ironman Chattanooga Race Report:  2022 North American Championship

4:34:06, 8th Place Men 40-44, 48th Overall

After the Waco debacle, I made changes in my personal and sports lives which led me on a rewarding journey of personal growth.  The road is not without its bumps, and my wife can attest I am a work in progress.  I made it my overarching mission to grow in all facets of my life, and find joy in the constant challenge of being the best husband, father, athlete, and lawyer.  I take particular pride in the first two.  I can confidently say I’m a kick ass husband and dad, and I’m really proud of that.    Everything else in my life could blow up tomorrow, and I know at my core I am a success in the two most important facets of my life.  There is great comfort in that.

If you make the right sacrifices, you can be and have it all.  The best part is when my priorities are straight, sacrifices don’t feel much like sacrifices…it’s all reward. Thank god, I have the best partner who always nudges me toward the right decisions which gave me a life I couldn’t have imagined 15 years ago.  She challenges me, pushes me, calls me on my BS, and loves and supports me despite my idiosyncrasies (of which there are many).

To borrow a phrase from the Armchair Expert, Dax Shepard, the only person you can truly compare yourself to is earlier versions of yourself.  In that regard, I am learning not to be so hard on myself, and overcome self defeating thoughts that have always been so prevalent in my head.  I’ve found that by focusing on general personal growth it’s much easier to view myself as a success.

So What Changed…

To those still along for the ride, I promise I will get to the race.  Gotta get through the heavy stuff first.  I promise we are almost out of the weeds, so fire up your weed eaters and hang with me for a few more minutes.

Starting in the New Year I implemented some big changes.  I added another therapist to the mix, a sports psychologist.  For those keeping score, that makes three…because I need an actual team of mental health professionals to keep my train from plunging off the rails into a metaphorical psychological ravine.  The sports psych has helped me tremendously in reframing how I look at training and racing.  He also recommended meditation and a gratitude journal which have improved my general well being to an incalculable degree.  I started doing both religiously, and I could not recommend these two practices enough.  If you take nothing else from this blog, take this..No matter who you are or what you do, a gratitude and mindfulness practice will assuredly help you in some way.

From a physical standpoint, I made a coaching change to Matt Hurley of Wyld Endurance.  His training methodology has been much different from what I was accustomed to with heavy focus on low heart rate based training and lactate testing.  My body has responded quite nicely, and confidence in my ability to race my best is still in front of me despite being nearly 41 years old. Most importantly, I feel like he gets my self sabotaging tendencies, and has structured my race plans in such a way that imminent self destruction is far less likely.  

Pre-Race and Race Morning

We arrived in Chattanooga on Friday afternoon with time to get down to check in and enjoy a great taco dinner (highly recommend Taco Mamacita).  On the way home from dinner, I noticed my throat was starting to get sore, a bad omen for sure, but I was hoping it would turn out to be nothing.  Unfortunately, I awoke on Saturday morning with a full blown upper respiratory infection.  With 24 hours until the race there was nothing I could do except make the best of the situation and hope another night sleep would make me feel better.  Mentally I had to downplay the situation because that was the only option (I haven’t done all this work for nothing!).  I woke up Saturday feeling a bit worse, but got my last ride and run in.  I noticed that my heart rate was abnormally high for effort levels which was a bit concerning, but did my best not to let it throw me off.  The rest of the day was pretty low key, and after bike check in I spent most of the day off my feet resting.  Detroit style pizza for dinner and off to bed at 9 p.m. for a 4 a.m. wake up.

I slept okay for the night before a race.  I woke up once with a severe sweat attack which I can only attribute to my body fighting whatever it is I managed to catch.  I’m not an excuses guy, so I just decided to put it out of my mind and begin checking the first of many boxes on the day.  The theme of the day would be proper execution.  I started with 100 grams of carbohydrate for breakfast in the form of cranberry protein oatmeal and applesauce.  I started sipping on Gatorade Endurance and would continue doing so all the way up until race start.  

We got to transition at about 4:55 am to pump tires and set up our bike and run setups.  I was met with a flat tire up front, but was able to get it switched pretty seamlessly.  Never the way you want to start a race morning, but sometimes you just have to roll with it.  After more time in transition than I cared for, we made our way to the shuttle buses down to the swim start.  Ironman did a great job with logistics and the trip down to the start couldn’t have been easier.

Swim: 1.4 miles, 27:54, 4th Men 40-44

There was a pretty nasty storm on Saturday night and the dam was let out, so I was pretty sure the swim would be wetsuit legal and fast due to current.  I decided that even if it was wetsuit legal, I was going to forego the wetsuit and swim in my swim skin.  The day was likely to be hot and the water temp was borderline wetsuit legal so I didn’t want to start the day more dehydrated than necessary.  I gave up some time to my wetsuit wearing competitors, but given the race plan I wasn’t concerned.

The swim strategy was to swim as easy as possible….like really easy.  Hurley told me to swim easier than I ever have before.  I’ll be honest, I was not mad at this strategy.  As a strong swimmer, it really took the pressure off the beginning of the race and allowed me to settle in.  I took a gel about 20 minutes before swim start.  As the 7 a.m. start approached I began making my way towards the front of the first swim corral.  Before I knew it, the gun went off and it was time to suffer for the next four and half hours.

The water was brisk without the wetsuit, but felt nice.  I proceeded to start swimming really easy.  The current was fast, and my 500 yard splits indicated I was swimming 1:05-1:10 pace despite a 1:20 effort level.  The water was a bit “chunky” as a result of all the debris from the storm but I was able to keep a clean line and find some feet.  Before I knew it I was approaching transition and ready to hit the bike.  I took the hill up from the water slow and steady and was really conservative in T1.  I definitely gave up a minute to my competition, but wanted to make sure I had everything in order before heading out on the bike.

Bike: 2:23:12, 11th Men 40-44

Avg Power 261, Norm Power 271, Avg HR 144, Avg Speed 23.7 mph

The plan for the bike was entirely heart rate and RPE based.  The plan was simple.  Ride at 140-145 bpm with a hard cap at 145.  My instructions were soft pedal if I found my heart rate went above 145 for a matter of minutes.  Based upon my training data, a 145 heart rate should have produced 290-310 watts. I expected to be on the lower end of that range due to heat and humidity and lack of heat acclimation.  I noticed pretty quickly that my power was low despite nailing the heart rate.  I found I was riding about 265-270 watts in the low 140’s.  Because my plan was not power based, I simply did my best to ignore it, and focused instead entirely on heart rate.  I didn’t let the low power numbers derail my mindset or execution, and I locked in on 145 and stayed there as perfectly as I could.

It was refreshing to have a different focal point which helped me stay focused without psyching myself out.  Knowing myself the way I do, if my plan had been power based, and I saw I was riding 265 instead of 290 I almost certainly would have started a self defeating parade of negative thoughts producing a much worse result.  The ride also went by much more fluidly and easily.  Because I was riding a very sustainable heart rate, I was not at risk of blowing myself up chasing a power number that was simply not there on the day.

30 miles passed in the blink of an eye and there were only a few sections of the course where I felt uncomfortable.  Nutrition was mapped out specifically.  The first hour was half a bottle of Maurten 320, a gel, and bottle mixed with 3/4 Gatorade Endurance and 1/4 water.  The second hour was 2 gels, one bottle of Gatorade Endurance and a bottle of water.  The remainder of the course (20 minutes) I finished the other half of the Maurten 320 and sipped on Endurance and water.  I nailed hydration spot on because I had to pee about 10 minutes before the end of the ride so I knew I was topped off before starting the run.

Generally speaking, the ride was pretty lonely.  A couple of guys hammered past me in the early stages and I had to check my ego and stick to my race plan.  Again this was freeing, willful ignorance of what others are doing is a great way to race.  After all, I can only do what I trained to do.  This is not a skill that comes easy to me, but 2022 Danny is determined not to repeat the mistakes of years past.

The middle part of the course was pretty lonely until I started catching some of the female pros during the last 1/3 of the ride.  For those planning to do this race in the future, know that about half the course has some pretty rough roads.  The first half of the course is also slower than the back half.  The course is rolling, but you can maintain speed through the majority of it.  The last 25 miles is largely pretty quick.  If the pavement were better this would be one of my favorite courses with a nice mix of terrain.  In typical Chattanooga fashion it was pretty warm and humid with none of the rain or clouds that had been in the forecast.

I came into T2 feeling quite good and having the confidence that I had executed exactly according to plan thus far.  My second transition was much better than the first and I was in and out pretty quickly.  Now it was time to face my real demons.

Run: 1:36:12, 11th Men 40-44

7:21/mile, Avg HR 157

Nutrition plan on the run was pretty simple.  2 gels in the first hour and 2 gels in the last 30 minutes or so.  At the aid stations I took on fluids and ice.  I used a combination of water, cola, and Gatorade Endurance.  I tried to take on at least two cups of something at each aid station while dumping ice down my kit.

The race plan was also heart rate based.  The idea was to keep heart rate in the low 150’s with a hard cap of 155.  I was to run with blinders exclusively focused on heart rate until mile 8 when I could re-assess based on how I was feeling.  By the time we got off the bike, the sun was blazing, and it was pushing 90 degrees.  I did a pretty good managing the conditions despite a lack of heat acclimatization in my training.

I was determined to execute the plan, and I did.  I immediately I noticed my heart rate was trending high (a definite theme of the day).  I focused on keeping it as close to 155 as possible knowing that 150 likely was not going to happen.  In doing so, I was able to control my fatigue and stay within myself.  I deliberately down shifted on the uphills, and kept the heart rate locked in.  I turned off the lap splits on my watch and totally ignored pace.  I set my auto split for three mile segments mostly so I could keep my heart rate consistent amongst 20-25 minute segments.  This was perhaps the best thing I did for myself.  Running ignorant of pace freed me from thoughts that I wasn’t running fast enough.  There were lots of guys that ran past me, but not as many as I would have thought.  I was controlling my suffering instead of the suffering controlling me.  Most importantly, I stayed consistent throughout the entirety of the run, and was able to race the last 5K as well as the first 5K for the first time in as long as I can remember.  

I only walked one time at an aid station at about mile 11 which was at the top of a steep hill.  This was a deliberate decision to let my heart rate drop after a spike from the hill.  I was able to immediately resume and get back to running well (for me).  I didn’t suffer any of the cramps or leg failures of years past.  I felt on the verge of cramping for the first mile or so, but once I got my running legs under me it subsided.  Perhaps most shockingly, the run went by kind of quickly.  The first 10K went by in a snap.  Racing smart allowed me to enjoy the experience of racing again.  Racing is hard, but the entire experience does not need to be a gritted teeth horror show.  There is a time and place for that effort, but I learned it does not need to be the majority of an already long day.  Don’t get me wrong, I was in hell for the last 30 minutes, but I can do anything for 30 minutes.

Closing Thoughts

I am proud for the first time in ages despite my time not being an accurate reflection of my capabilities and training.  I wrung everything possible that my body had on that day.  I left nothing on the table.  I listened to my body, stuck to the plan, and raced the best I possibly could based on conditions and not feeling my best.

I executed race and nutrition plans, and the reward was lessons learned and a good overall performance.  Most importantly, I know my race wasn’t close to my best (but in the best possible way).  There are several minutes of low hanging fruit on the the table just from being healthy.  The plan is working and I am sticking with it.  I feel grateful.  I am about 10-15 minutes away from being at the absolute top of age group and overall fields and I believe that is attainable and within my wheelhouse.  I am motivated to get back to training and see how far I can go this year.  Special Congratulations are also in order for my bro-in-law Ricky Devennish who finished his first half in lightning fast fashion despite racing wearing a decidedly un-aerodynamic upper lip quilt.  God speed Rocky Balboner....god speed.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention an old friend, Scott “Nails” Terry.  I reconnected with him last week, and found out he sustained a serious injury while serving our country as a Navy Seal.  The guy is a legit superhero and his positive outlook is inspiring.  Scott was kind enough to give me permission to race in dedication to his continued recovery.  In a few of the dark spots, I definitely dug deep for Nails. Inspiration can come from so many sources, I for one cannot think of a better inspiration than a true American hero.  Perspective is important, his character and sacrifice always me to run around in spandex and exercise excessively for fun.  It was sobering to have a real world reminder that there are real people doing the work that enables us to live this lifestyle. Thanks Nails.

As always, thanks for reading, thanks for your kind words and comments, and always happy to chat about anything triathlon or mental health related.  See you after the next one!